A War Like No Other
by SadisticArtist
Summary: Red will go to desperate measures to rid his life of a certain irken, but this is ridiculous beyond any reason. First the truth, then an assassin, now this…you have got to be kidding me. ZATR R&R please


Okay, so it only took me for freaking ever to finish this chapter…yes I know the chapter was already typed I just had to revise some stuff. Sorry it took so long in the first place, but I procrastinate oh so much and school has been stressful. So yeah…here is the re-made first chapter of The War.

Disclaimer: Don't own Invader Zim and the plot was originally from Zimfan21, thanks for letting me use it.

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The black void of space is always something you can stare at for hours and never ceased to be amazed…unless you are an emperor of an invader army. The tall, green-skinned, purple eyed alien sat in his levitating chair, snacking on fresh-out-of-the-grease curly fries. Even if nobody believed him now, when he was younger he proved to be a brilliant leader thus him becoming the Tallest of the Irken Empire. His counterpart, a red eyed Irken, sat next to him glaring intently at the wall, willing it to burst into flames. Annoying the hell out of Red being one of Purple's favorite pastimes, he gave an over exaggerated sigh and looked at his partner.

"Red, whatcha doin'?" Purple asked uninterested in what the answer might be.

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing?" Red growled glancing at the purple eyed Irken.

"I dunno that's why I'm asking," Purple smiled innocently.

"I'm thinking so keep your trap shut," Red barked.

"But-but-but I'm bored and I'm out of curly fries," Purple whined.

Red's eye twitched and Purple smirked, he mentally congratulated himself in a job well done.

Red spun to face his partner, "And just what the fuck do you want to do about it?"

Purple scoffed, "Tsk, tsk such a grouch these days."

"Well I wouldn't be a grouch if Zim would stop calling with these stupid ass plans that NEVER WORK!" Red yelled making all the technicians wince at his volume.

Purple shook his head and left to retrieve more snacks _'And to think he's a Tallest…'_ both thought in unison.

……………

Another green skinned alien halfway across the galaxy sat in a classroom on a planet entitled, Earth. Though a few years ago this alien would have been slightly different, he wore a wig and contacts to 'conceal' his identity when he first arrived on Earth. To anyone with half a brain could tell he was not human but that goes to show how smart the humans in this particular city actually was. He had been on this planet for nearly three years, and common sense must have kicked in to change his appearance to seem more human. He wore a guitar pick necklace that had a hologram generator built in to alter his appearance. Now with normal skin, he told the students that he had a treatment done to fix his 'skin condition,' he dressed in black jeans with a crimson and black striped shirt, and knee length black boots with silver buckles.

Said alien was currently balancing a pencil on his lower lip not listening to the droning teacher in the front of the room. Suddenly, he took the pencil off his lip and began scribbling on a blank sheet of notebook paper. He had to write down this plan before the light bulb over his head dimmed out.

A rather large-headed human with glasses turned in his seat to watch the alien life form just a few seats away.

_'I'm watching you Zim you won't get away with whatever you're planning,'_ the big headed boy thought with a smirk.

Zim scribbled faster, _'this plan's perfect Dib will never be able to stop me.'_

Dib wadded a piece of paper up and chunked it at Zim, who in turn glared at him.

"After the usual, want to get pizza to celebrate the end of school?" Dib whispered to Zim.

"Yes but first I must consult with my leaders with this new plan," Zim answered waving the piece of paper around.

There was an odd relationship between the two, maybe it had something to do with the fact that Dib knew the truth or that he was just tired of fighting. Nevertheless, Zim would devise a plan, Dib would ruin it, and then they would go get pizza with Gaz.

Dib rolled his eyes, "Whatever let's just not be late Gaz might get cranky."

"Hmm…Then shall we postpone our battle tomorrow?" Zim asked.

The bell rang and the students dashed out of the room screaming happily about their summer vacation. Dib stood with a stupid grin on his face. Zim raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"You know Zim that sounds good so I'll see you later tonight," with that being said the large headed boy ran out the door, slinging his backpack onto his shoulder.

Zim watched him leave then shook his head muttering, "And I thought I was crazy."

……………

Zim read over his plan many times to make sure that there would be no flaws. The Tallest would be so proud of him this time. As he ducked into the elevator to his lab he chuckled lightly to himself and turned off the hologram.

"Things will be different this time," he muttered with a small smile.

Upon entering his lab he noticed his SIR unit, Gir sitting in the main chair in front of many screens. Most of the screens were either turned off or surveillance. The small robot glanced over at his master and giggled insanely.

"Masta, you home already?" Gir asked cocking his head to the side.

"Yes I came straight home to show the Tallest my newest most ingenious plan," Zim replied.

"So can I go party now?" Gir asked.

"Sure, just don't destroy anything."

With that being said the defective robot ran into the elevator screaming joyously. Zim shook his head and laughed.

"Computer link transmission connection to the Massive, please," Zim ordered politely.

The computer responded with a beep and the main screen flicking on. Zim's leaders turned around to face their bothersome soldier. Red glared while Purple snacked on more food. Their expressions became altered as they took into account of Zim's newly gained height.

Red's eyes narrowed accusingly, "What do you want Zim?"

"My Tallest I apologize for calling you again but I need you to approve of this plan before I initiate it," Zim replied with a bow as he pushed a few buttons to send the document.

When the window appeared on the screen, Red's mouth hung open in shock. This was impossible for someone as stupid as Zim to bring about a plan with such a level of intellect that not even he, Tallest of the Irken Empire, thought of. Not that the red-eyed irken needed such a plan it was just that this plan seemed too thought out and detailed. There were even counterattacks if an enemy were to try and stop him. Purple, on the other hand, was quite impressed with the change in Zim. The small irken was finally showing his true colors though they're still a bit dull.

"Well…Zim it's a good plan and all but we don't care, in fact no one cares about you, your mission, or anything to do with you," Red smirked at Zim's crestfallen expression. "Everything was a joke to get you away from here so we wouldn't have to deal with you. Surprising, really that _you_ the great Zim didn't figure this out until we told you."

Zim clenched his fists for he knew something wasn't right from the very beginning, but his better judgment was overlooked by excitement of the mission. Anger boiled up inside of him as he realized why Dib tried so hard for them just to be friends instead of enemies.

He glared up at the bastards he dared to call his Tallest, "I have done nothing but try to make you proud of me and this is what I receive in return. I'm just a joke to you that's all, right?" his features darkened, "You sorry motherfuckers, I hope you die a slow and painful death."

The screen went blank and Purple glanced at his partner, "I think he took it well."

Red was furious that was not the reaction he wanted from the annoying little bastard. He faced his purple-eyed friend snarling at the sarcastic reply.

"Shut the hell up…I'm going to kill him with my bare hands," Red growled emphasizing his point by wringing an invisible person's neck.

Purple sighed, "Why travel all the way to Earth just to kill him, Red? Since you told him he probably won't call anymore."

"…I'm going think don't let anyone bother m," Red mumbled leaving the throne room with a gloomy appearance.

Zim glared at the black screen, shaking from the anger he was feeling. He grasped the steel chair behind him and hurled it into the glass computer screen. It wasn't like he was ever going to contact anyone from his race again.

Shards of glass rained down upon his body cutting him in several places. The rage never left him though, so he lunged at the broken screen with clenched fists. Roaring curses, Zim slammed his fists into the screen breaking it further. After a few minutes of this he finally stopped feeling much better than before. He looked at the screen taking into account of all the blood. Sighing, he brought up his injured hands noticing the shards of glass.

Grabbing a few bandages and antiseptic, he returned to the ground floor of his permanent home. Zim had never felt this depressed as he picked out shards of glass, cleaned, and dressed the wound.

Zim sighed once again after checking the clock. _Five minutes late…damn. Guess I better get going_. He stood to his feet and turned on the hologram. He then stepped out the door and trekked towards Bloaty's Pizza Hog.

Upon entering the horrible restaurant, Zim scanned the room for that big-headed earthling and his scary sister. When he spotted Dib it didn't take him very long to just appear next to the human.

Dib began choking on his pizza from Zim popping up out of nowhere. The alien sat down next to Dib and slid a slice of greasy pizza onto a plate. Gaz watched his movements and his different set of emotions.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"You knew," Zim stated rather than asked Dib, his eyes never leaving the plate in front of him.

Gaz glanced at Dib realizing that statement was meant for him.

Dib glanced at Zim, "I didn't think they would actually tell you…I thought you figured I out but still played along."

Zim shook his head, "Forget it." He looked up and grinned, "Why wallow in depression when we have a whole summer to have fun, eh?"

"So you okay?" Dib asked.

"Yeah, but what the hell are we supposed to do now? I can't try to take over the planet I call my home," Zim said as he propped up his head with his hand.

"I dunno we'll just have to wait and see," Dib smirked.

Gaz rolled her eyes, "Both of you are idiots."

……………

Well R&R and…um…I'll give you something…yeah a great big something :)


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